It’s now 2026, I stopped writing on my blog for a reason. The season between 2021 and now has been a scurry. I did a stint with and For God. Silence, stagnation, closing off myself to all those around me, never participating in anything spiritual, productive, or recognizing I was dealing with the “enemy”.
I wrote, 5 years ago, while I drove my car around this wonderful country, USA, and saw miracles. Ones that didn’t make sense, ones that over ran me, and ones that now have come to fruition. I am NOT A SEE-er, I’m not the ultimate timekeeper, and I know I’m NOT the only one that has experiences like this. What I mean is, instantaneously experiencing the connection to God, giving “it” to God, and physically knowing I’m aware of letting go; is happening to the globe. GO FIGURE.
The spirit and the soul does “elevate” when constantly connected to God, yet to stay grounded I needed to return to Champaign, IL and reroot myself. Whether it be for safety, whether it be for privacy, comfort, and/or protection. What I didn’t know is that I gave up on “looking” for any person, other than myself.. Then God said, “Well, you ain’t done yet. Get up, wipe your brow off, and do “it” again.”
September of 2024, I moved back to Champaign, Il and felt the most peace I have ever felt before from these streets, grounds, and area. I “saw, felt, and experienced ” dreams, images, prayers that were crazy and grandiose. Then, the two years of pure “cut-off” from God, not feeling Him, but searching for Him in my small apartment, lowest of the low in energy, again, realizing God does miraculous maneuvers with each of us daily; having Faith and Trust in God. I listened for Him. His “vibe”, His “frequency, His love, His Path and His Way.
I experienced the “enemy” biting at my heels the whole time, all the while being aware I was “avoiding” what God had/has for me. The weight I lost during this time, I packed on immediately after I got home. I felt safe in food(that’s another post), I felt safety in my mother’s home, and close to the kin and family near her. I got a quick job at a bar, locally, and I see abundance for this bar. Like usual, here it goes again, I can track the daily transactions, pay attention to shit that ain’t even mine to track, see the “abundance” and see the solidification with being back home.
I work a couple of months and, obviously, I’m going to run into the past here, but hopefully not as much where I work. That turned out to be the biggest, misconception so far. I notice a set of brothers, know they are watching me, especially bending over the beer cooler on a Friday night.(Fish Fry, so typical for most regions on Fridays).
I look up one Friday and there he is, the moment I saw him, and called out his name I remembered off the top of my head. Go fucking figure, it would be a man from my oldest brother’s graduating class. Isn’t that the most typical “meet up”. The small town boy meets small town girl after 30 years of not seeing, knowing of each other, or all of a sudden being shot right back to freshman year when I saw him once, in the hallway, and looked away knowing I wasn’t going to “go after him”, then. The freshman girls talked about him, and all I cared about was not being called fat, or yelled at to “stay away” from the “senior class”, openly by big bro. To this day, I see it as he knew the boys of his class. Fuck of, right? Thanks for that protection when I was 14 years old. Meeting this man at 14 would have been trouble, explosions, and probably extremely toxic.
He looked ten years older than my brother, he looked like he took every hit in every realm(spirit, soul, and body), and he couldn’t turn his neck, or upper body. That takes away the ability to protect your own back, for sure.
I’ll write more later. God told me this morning to write again, send it out again, no matter where it goes, and then get rooted in my day. No writers block now. It was there for 5 years, time to envision now, time to cut ties to the past, time to clear away, let go, and move, the fuck, on. Anyone else doing their thang, and moving on? I’m sure people are finally “woke”, finally aliven-ed, or finally flipped their script, because, the fuck, I’ll ever, NOT LISTEN TO GOD. I didn’t between May of 2024 to September 2024, and I was reminded I battled with certain things, felt like I was ripped in half, one side good, one side bad. Anyone accepting their “Shadow” these days, anyone feeling the feminine divine and male divine, naturally rising, anyone else feel like a FLAMING HORSE this year(2026)?
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