How Time Flies! (Continued 2)

I will back up for a moment and speak of the “date” I had with a man during the time my father was going through his last days. Hospice was an option that my family had used before for grandparents and other members of the family. I chose to do hospice outside the hospital my father was at. What I didn’t know was that he was only going to be alive for about 4 days once this service was utilized. It was explained to me that hospice is mainly for the “living”. It’s a service that could be at different levels, used for short periods of time to long periods of time. It was so the family knew the dying family member was “taken care of” if the “caretaker” needed to take a break or go do errands, or possibly handle another life situation that arises during the time of caring for a dying family member. Which I utilized fully. 

I had run into a man I went to high school at work. A bar, in a small town outside of Champaign, IL, I recognized him even though he was a senior when I was a freshman, I saw something about him that seemed reserved, and physically I saw “pain” all over his spirit and body. We chatted, I told him who I was, and he reminded me of his “connection” to my older brother. They were in classes together in school, they worked together at the same building on the college campus for a while, and my older brother stayed home(Champaign). He knows everyone and most things happening in town. I saw this man again, with a couple of his family members, then I saw, again, how well he handled himself in public, yet I could tell there was an “edge” to his spirit that reminded me of myself. I joke how the “Hulk” is usually lingering under my social self, yet I discovered I didn’t have to bring out the hulk much anymore. I was fascinated I could pick that up from him, “see” the pain physically all over his spirit, yet I found myself wanting to “fight” for peace for this man I truly knew nothing about. 

I contacted my older brother and asked him this, “Do you remember Gxxxxxxx(privacy is key) from high school? Would it be worth it to go on one date, if I asked him out?” My brother’s response, “He has always been a good dude, he don’t fuck around,  highly strapped and could potentially have a hair pin trigger,  but I can’t say what he is like now.  Last time I was around him he had a pretty tight girlfriend, but that’s been a few years.  I would say be cautious, but know he grew up in the hood, and you know you can’t take that hood mentality out of some one. He is good at his trade and likes making money from it. Just be careful.”

I knew then, with the thought of what kind of men I knew I gravitated towards in the past, that my brother’s response was exactly what I needed to have the courage to ask that man out. Good ‘ole Facebook messenger to the rescue! It’s light, it’s informal, and honestly the only way I knew how to reach out to G. I did so, had a lite conversation about what we noticed about each other and set a “date” for a date. 

I hadn’t been on a true date in over 8 years. Possibly even 15 years, since my ex husband “stopped” dating me and that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. All the while handling and participating in my dad’s death process. 

I will continue….In time!