I want to write, I always want to write, and I find myself not bringing myself to write anything. There have been so many changes, quickly, and with swift action lately. I have a heart that listens to God, I look for revelation, and I have faith that when told to go one way or another that this IS AS IT SHOULD BE…for me and for my path.
I haven’t written on my blog for a long time, I recognize this, I get that this might seem as a “disconnect”, and in all actuality it’s due to some things don’t have to be shared. My business, my life, my face, my pictures, my path does not need to be shared with others so openly. I have had two to three months of travel, movement, and adventure that stopped abruptly when praying and revealed I belong in Wisconsin. I hear I am needed, wanted, and supposed to be in Wisconsin. I recognized and was told to stop my “adventure”, grow up, move on, and be a part of my own world here in Wisconsin.
I took my son to South Dakota in July after the end of my contract at my townhouse. I had only a bag, a laundry basket full of clothes, and a few other small items with me. My son enjoyed his time in South Dakota, enjoyed the waters, the rest he got, the “detox” of something in his system that was needed and wanted. The Badlands are beautiful, Wall Drug was busy and fun, the food was great, the driving we did together was long, slow, and beautiful. The final days were bumpy, antsy, and ready to be done; I call this the “Holy Spirit” moving us. We hadn’t lived together, in any setting, for over a year and a half. His experience was overwhelming to be thrust into an active, loving, healing environment. He hadn’t had that for so long.
We sat and prayed, meditated, and left two days early. We went to my brothers in Minnesota; which is something I love doing while driving to and from South Dakota. As I was driving and praying I heard it…..Go home….stay home…..be done with this adventure. As always this threw me off, it scared me, or shall I say the Fear of the Lord was too strong to not listen to. There are many directions I could have gone, many adventures I could have continued onto, and many other areas I could have visited; and it was time to GO HOME.
Where is HOME? I didn’t have a place to call “my own”, I did this on purpose. I packed everything I owned into a storage unit, I left behind a chapter in my life that was done, and Where do I go now? Thank God for friends, family, and the will of God. I dropped off my son at his dads place and drove straight to my friends place. A small town, south of Madison, quiet, and so cute. I get there and my friend meets me at the door…..”Are you done and home for good?” was the first question out of her mouth. “Yes,” I stated clearly; more clearly than I have ever been before now. “Good, I circled places to apply to and call for apartments. You belong here, home, and close to the people who want you close.” There was no judgement, no hurry, no question of the support I was to get for however long I needed it, or however long it took to get a job and a place to my own. My friend knew right away what I needed. I had never experienced this so clearly, so upfront, and so in my face as I did now. She took me in as I did her years before.
I cried for a couple of days in a row, tears that were needed, tears that were wanted, and a reflection period of recognizing God’s voice so clearly and loudly, again. The movement of resettling here in Wisconsin came easy, fast, and seems to be the “right thing” to do. All the while I wonder, still, what God has me here to do. This doesn’t come to me until the last five days. The last five days have been wild, moving, cleansing, and clearing for someone else; not me. In reality, I am now moving what I experienced through my body, praying it “off” my spirit, and wondering out loud if this is a part of who I am. Again, revealing the strength, the impact, and the skill set I have to provide for others. Again, recognizing God puts me exactly where I am supposed to be for Him, for His work, for His will, and only because I have faith He will talk to me loudly when it’s time.
I was given permission from a friend to write and reflect on my experience with her and what happened with her for the weekend of August 6, 7, and 8th. I am going to start a new writing/post. Remember this is my perspective, my experience, my thoughts, and my way of speaking the “truth” through the Holy Spirit. Acknowledge something in my writing; I DO NOT DO this on a normal basis, these experiences only happen “when it’s supposed” to happen, I am not in control of the timing, the full experience, or what happens during, after, or in the future with this experience or person. There was a choice that she made, a choice she knew she needed to make, and a healing process to start in her world.
Why do you want to listen to me or read something I was given and blessed with for this process? I have done this process before, I have done this process many times since the beginning of 2021, and I have learned with each one. I have the “street cred”, I have the skills, I am built, by God, to do this process, to give whatever happens during this process up to God, and then to be filled and healed from God and the Holy Spirit after I am done. This is the first time I am writing about this process, I will not be able to write this out unless I also “ramble”, I know that what I write about will seem “not clear”; this experience is something I cannot understand unless I am praying, hearing, and possibly even allowing the Holy Spirit to write for me. This is a process, a weekend, and an experience that is hard to explain to the general public.
May the blood of Jesus, that was shed on the cross for us sinners, protect us; May God be with us and may the Holy Spirit speak to us as I write this next post.
Ask, Seek, knock and God Provides 