What an amazing day and what an amazing break from writing. I have received many opinions and feedback moments from others about my writing. One person asked, “Have you ever considered writing a book?” I always answer yes, giggle a little inside, and remind myself others don’t know I have spent my whole 20’s to now writing on and off(22 years), writing in journals, keeping the notebooks I obsessively buy because they are fresh, white, lined paper without the scribbles or doodles I do when I journal.
I have bought journals as expensive as $120, leather bound and handmade, to as cheap as a notepad for a dollar and every time I tell myself I will one day “write a book.” I giggle, internally, due to the fact my life, my path, my journey is my journal. My education, my certifications, my meeting others, my connecting with others, my ability to pray and hear something so strongly or have knowledge that is so intimate that only God could have communicated this to me, can be my journal. I can’t explain the feeling I get when writing on a fresh piece of paper and begin to “spill” the emotions, the words, and the intensity I have inside of me. It has always been a release, a list of what to do for the day, a marking of many cycles in my life, a place to remember my dreams on paper, and that’s never “enough”, when it comes to writing.
I have heard this question asked over and over; I answer the same, it’s always yes! And what stops me from writing a book? I don’t know, the thought of completion maybe, can I truly write something others want to read? What genre do I write in? What domain of my life could I write about and “entertain” others with it? What truly would be the purpose of my writing?
The blog is easy, relaxed, I don’t have to do this everyday, and I don’t. I like the capability and flexibility of letting the writing out and then not letting it out. I like walking away when I am bored or walking away when I get vulnerable when really writing about who I truly am these days. I commit to many other domains that I don’t walk away from, I don’t get bored with the action of my journey, and I sometimes don’t have more than five words to say, and when I do watch out.
Yes, a book would be amazing, and what to write about? Not because I am so amazing or I am so adventurous, but maybe to write about something others want to know about; not about me at all. What if it’s about the collective “us” in the world? Oh, that seems daunting. What if it’s about my relationship with God? Ha! I have only begun my path at 39 to now(42)….what could I have to say? Now that is what I’m getting at!
I have to get to a spot where I am willing to be that vulnerable, be guided my God to do so, to only write what the Holy Spirit brings me in words and knowledge, and then to pray on it, discern it, and make sure it makes sense to “the audience”. It can’t be about me, I’m not the only one on the Earth having these experiences.
I love writing, yes, I would love to write a book. For now I will pray, continuously, to see where that thought goes, what direction that could lead me, and I am grateful for my ability to journal for now. Admire the handwriting from time to time, read my own words in wonderment, and enjoy this part of my journey.
To the person who asked me that today…Thank you! I am grateful and appreciate your beautiful feedback, as well as reminding me that writing is a passion for me. Your words, your question, and your conversation was amazing today. I will pray now for all that I saw today, the amazement I have for others and the way they function, and for the gratefulness and appreciation I have for pray; whether it’s written, readable, spoken, and given as feedback. You are wonderful and an amazing woman that came into my world today!
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Ask, Seek, knock and God Provides 